One last journey together
by PerfectSerenity
Summary: Rachel knew that she would be the one to finally heal the broken spirit of the girl that had become so guarded whilst the cancer fought restlessly to break down the body that had never betrayed. and eventually, Quinn Fabray would be free from the heavy chains that had always held her down from being who she really is.
1. With a knock on the door

***Disclaimer* There may be themes in this fic that could be upsetting to readers, illness and possible character death later on (after first chapter), though I have tried to deal with these themes maturely and respectfully!**

The train journey felt too long and incredibly tedious, the only sound being the constant drone of the heavy, metal carriages rattling away as they jumped and bumped around like a bad choir of ugly school children. And yet regardless, a large and excited smile stayed plastered on Rachel Berry's face, the whole time her stomach threatening to burst with excitement at the prospect of seeing her best friend again after 5 excruciatingly lonely months alone in New York.

Sure, she had wanted to travel up to see her before, preferably closer to the beginning of their first semester, but she was still adjusting to her life in 'The Big Apple' – and she had quickly realised that this was an appropriate nickname, for everyday she found herself shuffling between discourteous, busy pedestrians and large towering buildings, each unfamiliar street leading to another unfamiliar place as if the city had no end. And though she was still dazed at the thrilling adventures she was having in her new city, it was still a far cry from Lima, Ohio and everything she knew to be familiar. She had described the whole experience to various friends and family as exhilarating and exciting but uncomfortable and unpredictable at the same time, much like a roller-coaster – or indeed her own high school experience.

In all, the city was _beginning _ to feel like home, but it was lacking a familiar face or a friend of any kind: The girls in her classes, though some nicer than others, were incredibly competitive and self-obsessed – some would say much like her – and were difficult to get along with or consider friends at all. Rachel hadn't told Quinn that she was intending to visit, nor had she spoken to her since she had left for New York, and was excited but nervous at the same time. '_She gave you the tickets Rachel, she wants you to visit. She's your friend now.'_ Rachel thought to herself, for although she and Quinn had been friends for a while now, it was still sometimes hard to shake the nervousness that she felt around her, especially when what she was doing was so uncertain, because Quinn could be so unpredictable.

But, it wasn't that Rachel was scared that Quinn would be infuriated by her spontaneous and uninvited visit; you see she understood that Quinn Fabray was mostly a composition of things that people invented about her, or that she invented about herself. She was afraid of the invention that Quinn was, the reputation that she had - and that she had worked so hard throughout high school to maintain – that painted her as judgemental and cold bloodedly cruel . In reality, when she thought about it, Rachel had never actually seen this side of Quinn – unless she wanted her to see it, because that was the thing about Quinn Fabray she always had nothing short of total control of how she was seen and how she portrayed herself – the Quinn that Rachel had gotten to know was caring and accepting, if not slightly guarded of how selfless, genuinely kind-hearted, lovely and loyal she really is. Quinn was mysterious and enigmatic, and the experience of being near her was sensational and surprising, her true actions jaw droppingly betraying her reputation and everything you thought her to be.

As the metal breaks loudly screeched the entire train to a complete halt, Rachel berry stood up from the itchy, carpeted seat she had sat on for the last four hours of the bumpy journey and made her way onto the busy platform in New Haven.

The city was desolate in comparison to the streets of New York which were always bursting with activity, but Rachel instantly fell in love with it, watching it fly past her in an array of bright colours in the back of a taxi cab she had caught to take her to the College Dorms that Rachel knew Quinn was staying at. She had gotten the information off of Kurt who was still in constant contact with Mercedes, who had apparently briefly spoken to Quinn's mum when she was visiting her own parents back in Lima. It was becoming apparent that nobody from high school, that she knew, had heard from Quinn since she left.

Rachel trudged up the steep steps that led towards Quinn's dorm, smiling at the pretty parks of tall green trees and bright coloured flowers that adorned the large rectangular slabs of perfectly cut grass she had just seen dotted throughout the city and wondered if Quinn would take her to one of them, show her around - It felt like so long since she had just enjoyed the nature around her and smelled the roses. She knew it was still term time for Quinn, but this was beginning to feel like a holiday for her, a relaxation period that she could enjoy with her best friend.

Smiling, Rachel took a deep breath and began tapping her knuckles fast and excitedly on the door in front of her. She read the door number, 107, over again in anticipation and dropped her hand back to her side, waiting. There was a reasonably loud bang, of what Rachel assumed was books falling to the floor, and some shuffling around inside before a tall blonde woman slowly opened the door, a meek smile adorning her face.

_Oh my goodness._

Rachel took in the appearance of the girl in front of her. She was almost unrecognisable with her pale grey skin and her drooping, tired eyes. Even her medium length, blonde hair lacked its usual unforgettable, glimmering shine and instead it lay thinly on her head, bleak and dry amongst large patches of her bare scalp. Her once perfectly toned; nimble body was skinny and brittle, ready to break at any given moment. It was as if every ounce of life had been drained from her now poor and suffering body.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked, confused and on the brink of sympathetic tears for her friend.

"I'm sick Rachel." Quinn said quietly "I've missed you so much."

**Well, this is the first chapter, I hope you like it. Obviously I don't own glee, because I am poor and have never even been to L.A.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'll love you forever! This is my first fic and I intend it to be multi chapter, that's if you guys like it. I haven't decided if it's going to lead to a romantic Faberry coupling or Faberry friendship, let me know what you'd prefer. **

**Will DEFINATLEY get more angsty and tragic as it goes on, so if you like that sort of thing, like me, please don't lose hope, and if you don't that kind of thing, please give it a chance as it's not all like that! This is basically a story that came to mind after the finale and is set whilst the two are at college. By the way, I'm English, but I've tried to use American terms and words etc. But please forgive me if I've missed a few or I get some wrong. I like it to be as realistic as possible!**


	2. we can all cry by a broken body

Rachel's heart thumped loudly in her chest as her eyes just gaped painfully at the shockingly sad image in front of her that was Quinn Fabray. It was as if the world had stopped turning in that moment, thoughts racing through her head as she did a few mental calculations. She threw her arms around Quinn suddenly as her bags fell urgently to the floor beneath them. Guilt began to lash throughout her whole body, twisting her gut sickeningly that she hadn't been there for her friend who was so obviously in need. Sure, she'd had no way of knowing that Quinn was this sick, possibly dying, because nobody had spoken to her in months, but she hadn't even tried to reach out to her until now - not even a simple phone call.

Tears slithered down both of the girl's faces as they embraced each other compassionately, both pairs of eyes squeezed tight mirroring the tight grasp that's they had around each other's waist, and neither one wanting to let go. Neither girl made a sound apart from the occasional soft whimper or a sniffle of noses, both trying to contain their cries. Their bodies shook together as they stood beneath the small, flowered canopy above Quinn's dorm room door, sun beating on their sides as it failed to protect them from the harsh summer's day.

Rachel couldn't remember how long they had stood outside the room savouring each other's touch and scent, but she soon found herself walking through the little kitchen diner and into the small, dark bedroom that belonged to Quinn. The murky brown curtains were pulled shut leaving a sepia gloom inside the place with the dim yellow lights only allowing a small fragment of light in the room. It was well decorated though, with beige walls and carpet that contrasted the chocolate brown bed covers and sofa perfectly. Framed pictures in dark photo frames dotted the wall in a stylish fashion behind the king sized bed, which in itself had been decorated with a string of small bright lights that left a glow around Quinn's still beautiful face as she sat on the edge of the soft mattress.

Quinn stared in hesitant anticipation for Rachel to start talking and asking questions, watching as she gazed thoughtfully around her bedroom. Her breath hitched as Rachel's eyes glanced over the mountainous heap of various medications that lay clumsily spread out on her bedside table. Quinn instantly felt strong wave guilt that she hadn't told Rachel about her illness as the realness of her situation sunk in, instead hiding it from everybody and isolating herself from the people that cared about her the most. She knew that eventually somebody would come knocking at her door asking for answers after so many months of unreturned phone calls and lack of activity on Facebook and other social networking sites, but she had hoped that it wouldn't be this soon, and she had shamefully hoped that she wouldn't still be here when they did.

"Is it… Canc-" Rachel started before she promptly burst into tears, bringing her hand up to her face quickly to try and contain herself, covering her mouth.

"Cancer, yes." Quinn said shakily as her own tears slid slowly down her cheeks. She hadn't even been aware that she was still crying and wanted to appear stronger than she was feeling, for both her and Rachel. Her heart pained watching Rachel gasp for breath, drowning in her tears with a beetroot red, blotchy face, every now and then her eyes squeezing themselves shut allowing more tears to fall. She didn't want to be the reason for her pain, though she was glad that she could share hers with somebody familiar. Indeed, she hadn't seen the happy and bubbly girl this upset since her failed NYADA audition back in high school. Now, Rachel was a thriving member of that very college and was well on her way to achieving the over extravagant dream that she had dreamt of since she was a young girl.

But that was what almost made this whole situation dramatically worse; Rachel could always find the best in every situation, she was admirable and commendable in that respect. Rachel had been terribly bullied throughout the entirety of high school, and walking the halls of McKinley High should've broken her; insults were thrown at her like pin pointed javelins, aimed to disfigure her breezy, cheerful spirit and kill her ambitious yet mystical dream. In fact, for the first few years of high school Quinn had been at the forefront of these daily, bloody attacks and Rachel had still stayed strong. So it hurt Quinn to see Rachel suffer so much pain over Quinn now when she cared so much about her, a cruel trick of karma that now she wanted the brunette to be graced with the happiness and love she deserved, she would be knocked down by the same amount of emotional torture Quinn had wanted her to suffer all those years ago when a long blonde ponytail fell down the back of her bright red cheerio's uniform, evil smirk laced across her jealous face.

Maybe this was why Quinn had always towered large walls around her inner self, hiding the truth of who she was to the outside world which had an army of people that could brutally attack and maim her emotional, fleshy insides that were so vulnerable. Instead, she had invented an alter ego for herself that ripped fear into people at the very thought of her evil glare; Quinn Fabray. Even her name was an invention, another building block in the wall that she had built, keeping out insults from her peers so that she wouldn't have to suffer under the torment of her alias, Lucy Caboosy.

"I don't understand." Rachel stated, straightening herself out and wiping away the last of the fat, juicy tears that wetted her stinging face, "When did you find out? Tell me _everything _Quinn."

"I'm so sorry Rachel." Quinn said quietly, much in the same way she had apologised for slapping the girl in the face two years ago at their junior prom, it felt very much like the same situation. "I don't know what I was thinking, I thought that… I thought that if I kept it quiet…" Countless tears began to fall from her face as Quinn struggled to get the words out and explain the situation to Rachel, she had begun to panic, breathlessly trying to contain herself and get the words out and appear resilient. "I didn't want anybody to see me like this. I thought that…"

"You thought that you'd die before anybody had to see you like this?" Rachel asked sympathetically in unbelief, mainly just trying to help her friend out and help herself understand, she tensed as Quinn nodded but let a small breath of a laugh out as she spoke again. "You really think you could've gotten away with not seeing me for much longer?" This made Quinn smile a little and seemed to lighten the mood a little bit before she broke down in a second fit of tears.

In that moment Rachel realised that she would have to stay strong for Quinn Fabray who, for once in her life was struggling to regain her composure and be strong for herself. Her walls were crumbling right before her eyes, leaving Quinn naked, exposed and a defenceless mess in front of her. Thinking about it, she had never seen Quinn look and act so vulnerable – not even when she was 16 and pregnant and her attitude began to soften – she had _always_ had the ability to compose herself and carry on, control how she acted around others. They were like reflexes to Quinn, brought about by the tortured life she had led, that nobody could ever possibly understand. Quinn was a product of her own unforgiving life, a mass of emotional scars that she had learned to tend to and heal by herself. Rachel knew that she would have to hold Quinn's walls up for her with every ounce of her strength and keep Quinn protected from the world that the blonde had worked so desperately hard to be sheltered from at all times; the world that had beaten her so bloodily and cruelly and left her to pick up the pieces herself. And in the meantime Quinn could, in the same way, fight the disease that left her shattered body in the same state it was threatening to leave her spirit: weak, unarmed and completely broken.

Rachel knew that she would be the one to finally heal the broken spirit of the girl that had become so guarded, whilst the cancer fought restlessly to break down the body that had never betrayed, So that Quinn would be free from the heavy chains that had always held her down from being who she really is.

And despite her illness, she and Quinn would embark on one last journey together.

**Okay so that's chapter two! Please REVIEW! In the next chapter I'll probably delve into the present situation a bit more, meaning more speech and fewer in depth studies of the characters… for now, haha! **

**I hope you're are enjoying the story so far, in the next few chapters I'll focus more on developing Quinn and Rachel's relationship and delve into Quinn's illness a bit more. Please don't forget to review so I know people are actually reading this, even critique is welcomed (not too harsh though, I'm still learning! haha) and make requests on how you want this story to play out. THANKS!**


	3. Something standing in our way

Rachel awoke early the next morning, the strong scent of delicious coffee pleasantly filling her nose as the fragrance wafted around the apartment from the kitchen, where she gathered Quinn's roommate was making himself a mug of the steaming drink. Quinn was still sleeping deeply and soundly beside her, wrapped up in a heaped bundle of thick blankets and duvets, burying herself in their foundering comfort as they engulfed her small, fragile body leaving only a small fraction of her beautiful face peeking out lamely; Rachel had hastily gotten up during the night to find some extra covers for her delicate friend after feeling the blonde shivering and trembling against her, even in the warmth of the night. That wasn't the worst of it though, countless times she had woken up to find Quinn's frail body curled over the porcelain bowl in the adjacent bathroom emptying the contents of her stomach, or nursing a gushing nosebleed, and not even flinching as the thick, dark red liquid poured uncontrollably from her tired face, but just holding numbers of the thin white tissues to her nostrils, soaking them through one by one, until the bleeding stopped. The events in the night made Rachel put into perspective just how sick Quinn really was causing hundreds of questions to burn uncontrollably in her mind.

Knowing that Quinn needed some rest, she slipped quietly out of the large bed, careful not to wake her, and out of the room into the large living area made up of a kitchen, dining room, and living room with a small corner office. The apartment was wide and spacy, again with beige walls and dark brown furniture. It was homely and well-kept and she could easily imagine herself living there, unlike her Dorm in New York that was small and confined and not too different from living in an exaggerated cardboard box 20 foot off the ground. But, it was the price she would have to pay to achieve her dream of fame – or so she told herself.

As she walked into the cool, tiled kitchen she was startled by Quinn's male roommate who was sat sideways on the kitchen stool watching the TV and eating a greasy bacon sandwich that dripped lardy fat over the fake marble counter. He had short dark hair and was freakishly tall and well built, muscles bursting through his green and black striped, collared T-shirt that was un-ironed. He had an uncanny resemblance to one Finn Hudson, who had once been her fiancé, the love of her life, but was now a distant, shameful and uncomfortable memory in her grown mind. The boy had obviously noticed her staring at him and was looking at her rather awkwardly, obviously waiting for her to speak or introduce herself.

"Hi! I'm Rachel Berry, a friend of Quinn's. I um, didn't mean to stare at you like that – you remind me of someone from back home" She said, laughing.

"Ah, some Finn Hudson guy right? Yes, I've had the lowdown." The guy laughed "First time I met Quinn she just broke down laughing right in front of me, I thought she was a crazy person – now realise she is, Haha! Sorry, I'm Lee. Lee Bennett." He extended his clean hand to shake hers before carrying on, a big goofy grin adorning his greasy bacon, baby face. "So, how do you know Quinn? And how was she last night anyway? I didn't get in until late and didn't want to wake her – she's been sleeping terribly! Up all night every night she is, bleeding and puking and shaking and crying. It's this new treatment they've tried her on, It's making her worse and we all know it's not going to work." As the vivid description of Quinn's condition flowed easily and eloquently out of his mouth, it seemed drill piercing, malicious, torturous pain through Rachel's chest like sharp, spear-pointed knives, each one tearing more of a hole into her already worried heart, causing her chest to ripple agonizingly with every syllable. Regardless, this guy seemed smart and mature, and obviously cared a lot for Quinn. Rachel was glad she'd found herself a kind, sensible and caring roommate despite the sting that she selfishly felt knowing he knew more about her condition than her.

"I – uh – we went to high school together. I hadn't heard from her in months and actually only found out the news of her condition yesterday, though she didn't give me many details." Rachel saw this as the perfect opportunity to answer the questions that were still frying away in her curious mind. "She's sleeping now; it was definitely a rough night. I can't believe I had no idea! Do you know what kind of Cancer it is?"

"T-Cell Prolymphyocytic Leukaemia. The doctor said that it's one of the most aggressive and rare forms of Leukaemia, It's not good. I can't believe she didn't tell you for one! I know that the dean isn't happy about her staying here whilst she's this sick, keeps telling her to go home and spend time with her family and she keeps refusing. It's been nearly four and a half months since she was diagnosed and she's deteriorating fast, Doc gave her 10 months tops! Cancer's already spread to her bones and stuff, reckon it'll start causing organ failure next."

"She needs to go home." Was all Rachel said, offering only a small, forced smile whilst finding it difficult to compose herself in front of this new acquaintance. Tears stung the corners of her dark brown orbs as she held the crystalline drops back, ignoring their threats to spill over onto her pasty cheeks. She seized the hot mug of steaming coffee that she had been brewing whilst talking to Lee, and walked hurriedly back towards Quinn's room without saying anymore, knowing that she would lose all composure at any second, betrayed by her uncontrollable emotions. _Be strong, Rachel. Calm, calm, calm. What would Barbra do? Barbra would be calm. _She took a deep breath and barged back into the bedroom.

Quinn Fabray sat perked up in her big cosy bed with rosy red cheeks and a slight frown adorning her dainty, little face, occasionally taking a sip of water and gulping down numbers of thick, circular, powdery pills and other sickening medication of fiery liquid that sent a scornful ignition of scorching pain down her throat with every swig . Admittedly, the night had been dreadful, like a long-lasting battle inside of her. It was as if her body had been screaming, writhing in protest at its malevolent intruder that had attacked viciously and persistently throughout the night, like her body had been unable to match the strength of the devilish tyrant, losing the bloody battle, but still unprepared to lose the ultimate war. The thought that Rachel had been there watching her intolerably suffer so horrendously, eyeing each and every weak and feeble movement of her frail and tired body as she dragged herself limply around the dark room trying to care for herself, made her stomach twist and ripple with a constant, tender ache of embarrassment. Yet even so, she felt remarkably well as her rejuvenated body tingled with a surprising dose of energy that felt unfamiliar beneath her skin.

"Quinn!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly as she stumbled into the room. Quinn smiled back at her, scooting over as the brunette dumped herself heavily on the mattress. "Now, I know you had a terrible night in concern to your health, but you're looking remarkably well considering, and much better than you did when I first saw you yesterday. It's a beautiful day outside and I think it would be positively beneficial to your health if we ventured outside into the summer air and out of this stuffy apartment to see the city, maybe visit some parks and eat at some restaurants. Granted, I am not a doctor and am currently unaware of the recommended and conditioned diet of people in your situation – I intend to do my research later – but, I consider that a bite to eat would be good for you. Food _always _makes me feel better. If you're not up for any strenuous activity, which I know walking around the city can feel like for some people with your condition, I am sure that I could find out where I could possibly _hire _a mobility scooter or at the very least, a wheelchair at the close by information centre. To conclude, it is my proposal that you allow me to take you, Quinn Fabray, out into the glorious depths of New Haven today." Rachel was surprised when Quinn burst out laughing at the end of her speech, gripping hard onto her stomach with her arms as fits of uncontrolled chuckles shook her body.

"Typical Rachel Berry! Babbling on…" she giggled eventually "Of course I'll go out with you today, let's get dressed." Rachel smiled as she tried to recall the last time she'd heard Quinn laugh, but her mind went blank. Sure, in high school she'd heard Quinn huff a laugh occasionally, but she had never heard Quinn laugh quite like that, ever, and wondered if anybody else had had the pleasure. The sound was angelic, tuneful harmonies of a giggly melody that tickled the atmosphere pleasurably.

A few hours later Rachel found herself relaxing beneath a lofty glen tree in a quiet corner of Edgewood Park, the tree was shrouded with a thick green blanket of wide pointed leaves that showered her in a cool, chilling veil of shade. Her head rested against the prickled bark of the rustic obstruction as her eyes loomed over the charmed scenery of the picturesque greenery. She watched with one eye as Quinn stood on the gravelly path enthusiastically talking to a tall brunette girl she assumed she had met here in new haven. Her stomach swelled with an unfamiliar feeling as she dazed at the chirpy blonde, who was laughing spiritedly and running her long fingers through her thinned out hair uncaringly. _Jealousy? _No, it couldn't possibly be jealousy. Rachel Berry was NOT the jealous type when it came to her friends and was not only accepting but also _encouraging _that they have as many friends as they wanted. She didn't need any of her friends to spend every waking hour talking to her or thinking about her, did she? Though admittedly, she would prefer it if Quinn was chatting that animatedly with her; for she had been friends with Quinn for longer! Sure, she and Quinn had had some brilliant, in-depth and meaningful conversations. But Quinn was usually so serious around her, as if she would break her if she said the wrong thing. She sat, observing the bright and beautiful blonde act so openly around this strange girl whilst unnoticeably waving the symptoms of her illness in front of her face without care, despite how incredibly _self-conscious _and embarrassed she had acted around Rachel throughout the whole time they had spent together. Seemingly sickened at the thought of Rachel noticing how frail she was.

Maybe Rachel was wrong about Quinn; maybe Quinn didn't have these _huge, metaphorical walls _that Rachel had been so certain about. Maybe she had imagined them. _Maybe_ it was just Rachel that she was protecting herself from? It just didn't make any sense to her. Quinn had always been this closed off, invented version of herself – or at least she had been in high school. Yet _undeniably _Quinn had a very open affiliation with this girl _and _her roommate Lee -relationships that so obviously truly exposed the _real_ Quinn. Maybe that's why she was jealous of these two reasonably new people in Quinn's life; they both personally _knew _the girl that Rachel had always felt such desire and desperation to have in her life.

She reflected on the relationship between her and her best friend and noted the distance that she realised she had _always_ felt between them; Quinn seemed so untouchable! Agreeably, she was mysterious and beautiful and a _far cry_ from the standard of friends that Rachel usually had, but she had always kept full control of the relationship: controlling how close Rachel could get to her, controlling what the tone of the conversation was, controlling what they did together. And all the while Rachel just seemed to pine after her, enthusiastically willing to accept whatever Quinn was willing to give her with delight and just _hoping _that something would come of their weird and one-sided rapport. Maybe it was because she still didn't feel at all worthy enough to be in the presence of the youngest head cheerio to ever represent McKinley High and lead the famous squad to the top of the national championships of cheerleading. Maybe it was because deep down she was in fear that if she said the wrong thing, or offended the blonde, then with a snap of talented fingers and a swish of short blonde hair Quinn would go back to being the cold blooded HBIC and Rachel would still be the pathetic theatre geek with one less friend.

In retrospect, Rachel realised that this nervousness that she felt around Quinn would have to change if she wanted Quinn to feel the same veneration that she felt, for her. She also knew that in order for Quinn be more inclined to freely and chirpily speak to her in the same way she was speaking with the other girl, and openly talk to her about her illness and feelings without insecurities the way she could with her roommate, then Quinn would have to change her attitude. Rachel needed to stop being seen, or more likely _portraying herself,_ as Quinn's inferior, happy-to-follow friend if she expected to be able to help Quinn get over her past before… well, before the Cancer took full hostage of her fast deteriorating body. Quinn chit-chatted happily with her over ecstatic friend completely unaware of the thoughtful, rugged glare of the brunette girl who stared at her intently, suddenly realising the full complexity of the difficult task she had in front of her.

**Please Review! Next chapter should be up in the next couple of days. Sorry for the delay in getting this one up, I've got exams!**


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